Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
