if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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