My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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