If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
