I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
