I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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