Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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