Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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