The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
