I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
pray to the hookup gods
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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