I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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