Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize