He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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