its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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