I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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