i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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