I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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