I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
