My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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