Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
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new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
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Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️