Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...