I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.