if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
