He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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