This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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