If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
