I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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