So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
God, I missed his penis.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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