This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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