sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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