I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize