Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it's like heaven, but drunker
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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