The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
