yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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