If that was your dad, he is hot
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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