I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
