I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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