I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
