I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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