I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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