I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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