I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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