Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
