New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
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Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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