How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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