why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
