u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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