I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
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