So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
