I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
