her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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