party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
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Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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