I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
