ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So much rum. So many feels.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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