how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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