when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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