why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Couch. On fire.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
