I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
