I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I can text with my tongue
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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