Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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