i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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