Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
