Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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