Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
