how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Randomize
