ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
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i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
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I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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