And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you inspire me to be a worse person
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize