is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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