I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
